So I found myself trying to write another post but each time I tried to write something I read it back and it was just too much... At the time I didn't feel that it would paint me in a very good light because it might come off arrogant... But this is where I invite you in. Anyone is welcome into the realm of what my life has been and if you think I am arrogant or self-promoting I would love to prove you wrong over a cup of coffee....
So, remember, you asked for it.
"Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
This is where I start today. All my life I have been set on a path I never really wanted to be on. I did very well in school and sports and as soon as I proved so I was expected to show the same results. It's not that the expectation was bad, but rather why the expectation was there.
I know 'expectation' doesn't sit well with most people but I truly think that we are to expect things from one another. Especially if we have made it to those trustworthy places with one another. Now before I get off track let me back up... There was a burden laid upon me to perform, and to perform well. So when those moments came that I fell short there was an immense affect on my confidence. This is only in the areas of school and sports... But as I watch my life I see that spill onto everything that I did.
Once I realized I did not reach the expectation and punishment, or rather consequences, were not rightfully placed, I gained insight into apathy. I had to cope with my personal disappointment so I decided to just become numb. But in that process I didn't realize that it was making me lack care for those around me... Thus forcing people out of my life and when they left, they left open holes all over my heart.
Ok so fast forward a few years to where the understanding came in. I look back on that and realize what affect that had on my relationships and man... Did I really do myself in. Now I could sit here and say that my surroundings brought this on, but I don't think so. Instead of standing up for myself against accusers with the truth, I chose to continue to cover my shame with lies. I chose it. No one else chose this for me.
My apathy turned me away from God because since I didn't care, he probably didn't either.... What a bunch of bologna!
So how do you come around that? How do you change? Well, first off I had to realize that I was completely selfish and wrapped in my own mind of defeat. So step one, get out of yourself.
How can you come unto Jesus if you are lost in yourself? Easy. Change your focus from self- to Him, the eternal life giver. Why do we make things so complicated when Jesus offers us an alternative to what we are doing? Why do I need to read a self-help book when Jesus says 'come into me.... And I will give you rest'? In His rest I can accomplish all my hearts desires. In His rest I can experience the fullness of his grace. In His rest my life becomes full of joy because my strife is no where to be found. In His rest I no longer have to hold onto the excuses for my behavior. In His rest I am confident in myself even when I have to confront my sin, because in His rest my sin he never remembers.
So before you tell me about your struggles, enter into His rest. I don't see the point in unleashing ourselves before we have found Him in the midst of everything we do. Venting outside of wisdom seems dangerous, but venting frustrations inside the rest of Jesus changes us and edifies us and encourages deeper things of Christ to be manifest in us...
Now I know this is all over the place but somehow we need to grasp that we aren't living until Jesus is living within us. That means in everything. In our day to day coming and going, he should take first priority over the shortcomings (or victories) of my life. For HE is my destiny, and any other offer just isn't good enough.
Until next time I hope you find yourself immersed in the rest of Jesus, and I pray to God that we will never lose sight of who He is because without him we are merely bones.